I wish I knew.
I'm alive because of the grace of a kook who decided not to kill me perhaps on a tuedsay or saturday. I'm alive solely due to the fact that the tranquilzers (10,000) miligrams proved a small challenge to my drug tolerance. Not enough to stop my passionate beating heart. I laid in a bed in ICU out completely for three days. My God, when I turned 20 by the time that realization arrested my young lifelies--I toured another asylum which left one door to the stairs unlocked--seriously? So I mimicked the clutter in the main central room and left without anyone's observation. No plans. I walked to the very busy road next to the hospital--suddenly I became a brilliant idea. As the traffic passed by in the night time I waited. Finally an 18 wheeler started to drive towards me. I stepped with purpose in front of the tractor trailor and laid down upon the asphalt. Man the trucker just missed me. Pandemonium. Techs from the hospital. Cops. Handcuffs to escort my ass back. Judge, useless lawyer. My first commitment. Funny, technically it was my first adult commitment. Is this Fact or Bullshit.