I am a woman in her 40's sitting here wondering, "What in the H*#$ am I doing with a BLOG!?!? I guess when you have no social life, this is the next best thing. Otherwise, you end up having complete conversations with your dog and your family wants to commit you into a nuthouse!!!
However, I decided about 2 years ago to increase my knowledge by enrolling into online college courses. My first major life changing decision in twenty years and BOY did it change EVERYTHING!!! Shortly after my first term began, my husband decided he just didn't want to be married anymore, so he traded me in for a crack addicted wh^%% (you know what I Mean). Since that day, I have been homeless (with dog in tow) and trying to stay in college. I was NOT about to let this event dictate which direction my life was going to follow. Yet here I am, still homeless and temporarily living with my parents (and when they say temporary, they mean it). To make matters even more challenging, I'm scrambling around trying to find a low-income apartment (since I'm on a fixed income), keep the peace in my mother's home, get caught up on my assignments in class, on academic probation, my grandchildren decided to see if my laptop would safely bounce if shoved off the desk (guess what, it didn't), and let's just see what else could thrown on top of this pile of crap!?!?! Well, don't feel sorry for me, because I just sit here and laugh when I think about all of these things going on in my insanely confused life. What else would anyone one be able to do? Crying won;t make it go away, and feeling sorry for myself will only make matters worse, so I just laugh, Laugh, I laugh until I do cry, but they are tears through laughter and those are the best kind of tears anyone can cry. I am now only two terms away from graduation, WOW!!! TWO WHOLE TERMS!!! I cannot believe that I have survived all of the obstacles thrown in my path and I've managed to come this far!
Back on December 29th, my dog had puppies. Three of the little cuties. S now I am in the process of trying to fine them homes before I really do get kicked out on my keester. But they are just too darn cute to part with. I know, I know, I can't keep "every" animal the crosses my path, but I just can't help but fall in love with the little dickens!
Whenever I talk to someone about my trials and tribulations, they always quote that one wonderful saying, "That which does not kill us only makes us stronger," and also "God will never put more on you than you can handle." Trust me folks, I believe in these sayings and say them to myself everyday, but then I tend to ask "Dear sweet Lord, how much stronger do I need to be?" I'm not whining or complaining, I just would like to know so I know what to expect so I can prepare for those difficult times ahead. Just like all other people in this world, I do have a dream and that is to one day have my own home, be self supporting, self sufficient, and working at a job that I love (hence, my pending college degree).
I am taking classes in legal studies with hopes of becoming a paralegal someday. I would use my new found knowledge to help battered women and children and work in Family Law with the hope of helping those who are backed up against a wall in their fight for custodial or visitation rights and the custodial parent is not fighting by the rules and getting away with it. During and after my fight for my children, my experiences caused me to meet other people in the same type of situation. If I can help in at least one case that wins, all of what I am going through at this time will not have been in vain. I don't expect to get out there and change the world or be some kind of super hero. I just want to give back to the communities and charities that helped me when I was in a battered woman's shelter in need of these services.