I have been asking myself why I am uploading these posts of mine and if you are one of the 2 people per week reading them (Thank you both) you may be wondering the same thing.
The blogging world does not need yet another depressive, socially anxious, obsessive-compulsive agoraphobe using the internet as an open mic night, so why throw myself in the mix if I can not do it differently or better than those before me?
It’s a very good question and I will enlighten you with the answer …
… I am an ‘Exceptional Worm’.
There have been many labels given to me by psychologists over the years but none as feeble as this. The others at least have ‘syndrome’ or ‘disease’ or ‘disorder’ at the end of them to suggest there are years of research and a few articles in medical journals behind them.
Exceptional Worms used to be called Perfectionists but, as there are no book deals or guest spots on Dr Phil for mental health experts re-hashing old concepts, this is the new spin.
It seems my self worth is precariously built on how I perceive others view me. Anything short of being considered brilliant in what I do means that I am embarrassing myself and must cease immediately. In short, if I can’t be the best, I will not try.
So … in an effort to at least ditch one item of baggage, here I am in all my mediocrity. Neither the best nor the worst that the internet has to offer. And, apparently, after a few more months and several hundred dollars of ‘Exposure Therapy’ I will be just fine with that.