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Bee Halton

North Norfolk, UK

Hello, nice to meet you!

Please come in, have a cuppa of your favourite beverage and make yourself comfortable.

My name is Bee and I am your hostess on an extraordinary journey: the exploration of self and of self-care if that is what you are looking for.

I am curious: Where have you come from? And where are you going? You have no clear answer to that? Well, you are not alone. That is exactly the point that I found myself in on a cold January evening in 2018 at my old day job: Sales Assistant in a British supermarket.

I was filling up shelves and tables with bread and rolls and suddenly knew I could not do it anymore. I knew I had to leave this job and discover why I was born and what the purpose of my life was. And at the same time, everything inside myself revolted against this knowledge.

“I can’t do that! I can’t let Andy (my husband) down!! How would I pay the bills? What on earth am I thinking?!” So I left and called in sick the next morning. It extended to several months after which I tried to come back and just do what I used to do: Subdue my inner voice and keep paying the bills.

It didn’t work, as you probably guessed. Since then I have had a thousand ideas of how I could make a living and many job applications which all led to nothing. I have been through fear, frustration and resentment of a situation I felt that I have brought myself in. Most of all, I felt guilty. Guilty that my family struggled/struggles with money and that my husband works like a donkey to keep us going. I felt that I let my loved ones down and that at last, I have shown who I really am: A total loser! I am at rock bottom.

I don’t really understand why I am in this place (well, of course, I left my job without having another that’s the obvious bit) however, I believe there is always a reason why we experience certain things. There is a lesson to find in this and I have decided to find the lesson and to find the answers.

When I left the day job I was utterly exhausted. Not only on a physical level but on a mental level too. I used to deal with the mental exhaustion with getting help from the Wellbeing service which usually was cognitive behavioural therapy. This time around I could not get therapy. So I decided to work with what I have: A brain that is capable of thinking and the internet which can give me the information I need. And an un-denying connection to powers that are not obviously seen in this physical reality. However, they look.

The tools I am using currently to find the answers are daily meditation, working with positive affirmations, daily walks with the dog, gardening, self-help and self-improvement books and writing. Blogging more correctly. And a huge part plays creativity: photography and creating mugs that motivate writers and bloggers to write.

My life is a work in progress. Or maybe it is just a proper midlife-crisis. It definitely is a journey and I want to take you with me. Come and see what’s out there. Come and share your experiences and let’s go together. Because journeying and discovering is always more fun together.



I = BEE HALTON
On a spiritual journey
Self and self-care explorer
happily married 2 best husband (Jeremy Clarkson voice) in world
blogger
occasional book reviewer
poetess,
constant book, quote and blog sharer
&
proudly owned by @Sherkshound,

Also
certified Teacher of English as a Second Language Teacher,
Sales Assistant with an NVQ in Retail
&
Diploma in social work with main subject work with the elderly
Compared by NARIC as British Bachelor degree standard,

Currently

learning to code via freeCodeCamp

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