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@davidboyne Earth

David Boyne has failed at everything he has tried. Including parenting, marriage, college, gainful employment, algebra, buying low and selling high, mixing red wine with tequila, riding a bicycle across America, and staying perpendicularly tangential to the gutter. At one time he considered becoming a better person. But when told identity theft was illegal he abandoned the idea. When not writing about his failures he boldly stares into Space, schemes for Total World Domination, and sometimes exposes himself

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