Rhyan Scorpio-Rhys has a serious dislike of describing himself as he finds that particular aspect of self-promotion a bit shallow. But if you really must know, in his mind he is a Film & TV Authority, Plot Germ Entrepreneur & Insomnia Guru.

In reality he’s a foolish man, trying to realize the purpose of his existence, who constantly brings up the 300 pound gorilla in the room at the most inappropriate times.

Sometimes called The Man, The Myth, The Monologuer (by his pretend friends), he is essentially everything you’re not… especially the bad stuff.

Stop rolling your eyes. You asked for it.