Welcome! Like many of you, I've been through many difficult life experiences which in the first two thirds of my led me to becoming overwhelmed, depressed for periods and even to the point where I no longer felt I should be walking the earth anymore! What happened?
I was emotionally and physically abused by my mother, a deeply damaged person herself. This led me to feeling very comfortable around hurt or damaged people, hence my first marriage to an alcoholic and drug addict (cocaine and hash), where my lack or life coping skills led me to become depressed and an exercise anorexic in my efforts to exert some kind of control over my life. That marriage ended when he left me for another woman, as a severely co-dependent person who was finding her self-worth through other people, I then struggled to see myself as a woman worthwhile of other's affections!
Another result of growing up with a hyper-critical mother: I yearned for and searched for acceptance and approval, both from people and most importantly I felt, Divine approval. This led me into not one, but two (successive) strict evangelical churches. Unfortunately, I didn't receive what I was looking for. My health problems, as well as those of my daughter were seen by both congregations as being Divine retribution and "correction" by God for my supposed undisclosed sins. The ensuing way we were both treated led me directly to the point of feeling so worthless in the eyes of the very people I needed support from and in front of God, that I felt my only recourse was to remove myself from the face of the earth! I had it all planned out, until...
Enter my to-be second husband into my life. Yes what I learned from him about Native American spirituality showed a different and loving side of God I hadn't heard talked about in the churches and which ultimately saved my life, but his own Narcissistic personality ultimately destroyed our marriage during a time that my youngest granddaughter had been re-diagnosed and did battle with her second round of cancer (stage 4).
My books, articles, inspiring art and photos are all the fruits of struggling to learn to heal from all those life events. I used positive quotes extensively in my healing process to learn to change and overcome the deep roots of my depressions and life struggles; read books slowly to be able to internalize new information and to learn to integrate the lessons into my soul and spent many hours meditating upon and praying about the new circumstances I was then going through, trying to keep putting into practice the lessons I had learned.
My inner transformation was a long and arduous process, as I wanted to make changes within me on a deeply heart-felt level. The publisher of my first book (an illustrated children's book, now out of print), suggested I write down some of my philosophical thoughts and put them into a book. This astonished me that anyone would notice the changes I had worked so hard to accomplish within myself, but since he was my publisher, I felt I got a Universal green light! I started writing out my thoughts in very tiny notebooks and gradually progressed from being an artist who wrote into a writer! My books, articles and art are the direct results from having come out the other side of that tunnel and are the lessons I've learned as well as the very tools I used on my own healing journey! My goal is to help others on their healing paths in gently supportive ways!