Darkside of the Universe.
There is a stereotype that if you exercise you're the type of person who celebrates ALL forms of healthy living. I am not that type of person. They say you should treat your body like a temple. I laughed. I treat my body like a fast moving dumpster. My eating habits are like those of trained circus animals. Every time I do a trick I get a reward. It's quite awful, unhealthy, and it frightens those around me. I take no joy from dieting to me eating iceberg lettuce and counting calories makes me feel tired and robotic. Why do I exercise? That's because I want to EAT. I punish myself outside to atone for my atrocities indoors.
I would totally fight the "Kraken" but I'm too lazy to pick up the sword.
I should stop but... I'm not going to.